Etiquette Course for female Subs and for Dominatrixes

Expand your Skills at the Table

When you book with me, especially during vacations, I also offer you a etiquette course in addition to the services you book. Personality, decency and ethics are very important to me. But that’s not the point: as a sub, it’s almost essential that you can demonstrate high decency at the table and manners that your Master appreciates you. I give you the security of feeling safe at the table at home and in upscale restaurants. You achieve this by learning the rules at the table. The nice thing about it is: all of these rules have a purpose. Once you understand this purpose, the rule becomes clear. It’s very simple.
As a dominatrix, you embody the adored mistress. In addition to your appearance and your grooming, good table manners are a must for you, too. You are a role model, the adored and the punisher. If you know exactly what your subs are doing wrong, you can of course also use the course as a lesson for your subs. A nice game: your sub eats like a piglet at the table? – I think you will know how to teach him the hard way, how to behave in your presence.

Unnecessary insecurities as a sub or dominatrix

Sometimes you find yourself in situations where you wish you had learned about etiquette. These are usually important meetings with people. There are suddenly ten pieces of cutlery lying around and the conversational culture of those present seems a bit too friendly. This can be unsettling. It is definitely not necessary. Because behavior in such situations can be learned. When do you do it? – Before you find yourself in such a situation next time. So now.

How Security in Behavior Leads to Enjoyment, Integrity and Well-Being

It can take a while before you find yourself in the situation described. That’s why our etiquette coaching is not a course in which you learn the rules of politeness. We do it completely differently: we explain each of these rules to you. Because etiquette is not just an instruction manual, it has a meaning. Recognizing this meaning allows you to even create your own etiquette.
Once you have given this topic serious thought, you will create a sense of security. With this security, you can face any situation.

Acceptance and Tolerance

Festive occasions, company meals or simply the reception of customers at the company can be accompanied by an inner feeling of security. Once you have understood the rules of etiquette and they start to make sense, you can behave completely differently. In my opinion – everything we do is based on conscious or unconscious feelings. Security can resonate in this basic tone: the feeling of being able to behave correctly. Good behavior has an intention: you create something pleasant for the person you are dealing with. This is one of the credos of the gentleman generation. In the globalization generation, if you can call it that, acceptance and tolerance are required. These two needs are based on decency, ethics and appropriate behavior. Etiquette can be implemented as a basis for today’s needs.

Emotional Security Through Skill

Today’s Knigge rules differ greatly from those of past, seemingly rigid societies. The basic principle – i.e. the reasons for the rules – are just as relevant today as they were in Baron von Knigge’s time.
Knigge coaching does not teach you manners. I do not undertake this educational task because it is not part of the goal of coaching. This course trains your mindfulness for your own enjoyment, interaction with others and safe movement and action according to rules that make sense to you. Security through ability according to today’s Knigge understanding: set out to enjoy yourself in your own mindfulness.

• How do you eat spaghetti? And why?
• Which cutlery is which? Does it make sense?
• Who do I greet first? – How does the person waiting to be greeted feel?
• How do I get this monstrous lettuce leaf into my mouth?
• Which topics of conversation spoil the mood?
• Do I still belong if I don’t join in smacking my lips?

The list of uncertainties can be long. It doesn’t matter whether your Master eats properly. You have your own way of eating. As a Dominatrix, however, it is important. Often you only realise that you don’t know something when you are already in an uncertain situation. Feelings like shame, embarrassment and of course insecurity spread. You don’t have to learn etiquette rules by heart, it is enough to understand their meaning. This understanding allows you to spend good times with consideration for yourself and others. Coaching is always aimed at you. That sounds selfish. The question is how you can really enjoy your food. The ability to enjoy arises within your own framework. A beautifully laid table can transform a simple meal into something extraordinary. If you accept the others at the table as table neighbours, you can make sure that the others feel comfortable with the same sense of enjoyment. Eating together can become a bonding experience in this way. The tools provided by etiquette coaching are the understanding of why someone might feel better if they use the fork as a fork, for example, rather than as a ladle. What could be a problem with this?

Feeling Good through Honor – like in BDSM

Dear friends are invited. You cook for them with great care and attention. You promise yourself a lovely evening in familiar company. You set up the table in the dining room beautifully, decorate it with devotion. You do this for this evening, for the friends and to create a nice atmosphere. Everyone should feel comfortable. For this purpose, you might even bring out the nicer set of plates and place them carefully. Do you know these loving moments of preparation?
The beauty on the table for the friends can honor them, give them an atmosphere of appreciation. Beauty on the table, the cultivated conversation and the enjoyment of a fine meal can take place in a setting that you conjure up especially for your guests. Seeing them enjoying gives you the feeling that you are doing something good for them. Their self-worth, their personality and their integrity are honored. Imagine you are invited. How do you respond to this appreciation?
Sometimes tables and rooms that are so beautifully prepared almost evoke a little fear. You used to have a relaxed and carefree time with your friends. Now you’re in a situation where the AC/DC T-shirt you’re wearing probably doesn’t fit. You’d also prefer to have better-groomed fingernails.
There’s no need to be ashamed. You can always tell your hosts that you want to wash your hands quickly. Don’t worry: they’ll wait for you. The T-shirt will definitely fit: you stand by your preferences. It’s part of you. It’s only shame that has an external effect and can steer the evening in a direction that can become unpleasant. You can be yourself, from the depths of your being.

Etiquette at the Table

The really nice thing about the etiquette rules at the table is that they all make practical sense. Good behavior at the table is blessed with a double feeling of security: security in knowing how to let others around you enjoy your meal and the security that by paying attention to the beauty of things, no mistakes will happen. Mistakes are the symptom of insecurity and not the cause of it. Every meal can be celebrated, even if it only consists of a piece of bread and cheese.
It starts with you. For example, you can ask yourself how you can get more of the unique taste of this cheese. Perhaps not by wolfing it down, but by letting the cheese breathe. It might even be a hindrance to your own enjoyment that you are still holding the fork in your hand instead of being able to freely delight your palate? What is better?
Have you just thought of something on the current topic, but are still enjoying the cheese in your mouth? – Enjoyment is based on a sense of security, just like inventiveness, inspiration and intelligence. So you shouldn’t be surprised if brilliant or funny ideas come up that you would like to share. But it is a misconception that you have to put them into words straight away. A slow fade-out of the enjoyment can still bring the idea into a form that suits the group. The napkin on your mouth symbolizes to the company that you either want to drink something or say something. Now it’s your turn. This can be free of the leftover cheese flying out of your mouth.

Repulsive and Undignified

He has dressed up for his first date with a woman. He is there early so as not to leave her waiting alone. He has made an effort. He has asked the waiter for a nice table where she can have a good view of the restaurant, with the safety of a wall at her back.
She appears. He stands up and greets her. She drags the chair across the floor with a squeak and pushes it back to the table with a clatter. The guests in the restaurant look up briefly because of the squeaking.
The conversation starts well, she smiles. Topics such as current politics are important to her at the moment. She seems to be upset about the local situation. He agrees in a friendly way. She talks emotionally and doesn’t stop while she eats. Polite as he is, he listens to her attentively and leaves his cutlery lying while she talks. His attention is on her. He can’t help but see the grinding chewing movements as she turns and rolls her food around in her mouth as she speaks.
“You’re not eating anything?” she asks worriedly. He replies kindly: “I want to listen to you.”

This Dom may take you on to teach you manners. But it is more likely that he will politely withdraw and say no to further meetings. He will explain himself to you, but will not tell you that it is because of your lack of manners. That would be insulting.

Business Etiquette and Communication

Are there types of behavior that create an atmosphere in business and in communication where people feel taken seriously and comfortable? There are countless situations in life where etiquette can be used. Here are some keywords:

• Job Interviews
  Have you ever wondered why some of the questions a company asks sound personal? – It’s about you as a person being a good fit for the company. A conversation only develops when you ask how the employees feel.
• E-mail etiquette
  Are there ways to give the reader a good feeling, even in emails or letters? – People are always happy when you mention their achievements, for example. It is often forgotten that emails are normal letters and not text messages. Is “LG” as an abbreviation for “kind regards” appropriate on a normal keyboard?
• Clothes make the man?
  Yes, too. Cleanliness is the most important thing. You can tell by looking at clothes whether they are freshly washed or have been with you for a few days. It can be a form of politeness to appear odorless or pleasant-smelling. But too much can also be disturbing. You’ve just come home from work? – Just mention it, then everyone will know why your shirt is stained. From then on, no one will be bothered by it anymore.
• Politeness
  Most people don’t find it difficult to display normal politeness. Sometimes it happens that you don’t like someone. One way to get less upset can be to rise above it and maintain politeness, even in arguments.
• Physical well-being in meetings
  Offering water or coffee creates a unifying framework: being and doing things together. Feel free to have a coffee with someone, the meeting can go better if you are one of the participants.
• Guilt-free communication
  Non-violent communication, is a high form of politeness. I teach it in a separate course at another location. However, it can be addressed in etiquette coaching. Those who learn it often have a hard time with it at first. If you combine it with the feeling of enjoying the conversation and decency, you realize how important feelings are in business too.

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